Few things in life are solo affairs, and divorce is no exception. Gaining single status will require a whole support team to get you there.
As soon as the decision to divorce is made, you need to think about who you need on your team. Tread carefully if some of those people might also be your spouse’s pick. You do not want them to feel like they need to choose between you.
Here are some people to think about:
Family and friends
Some of these people will clear out their diaries for you. They will put aside their work to listen to you cry down the phone for two hours. Or run to pick your kids up from school because you were so busy sorting legal matters that you forgot.
You may need time off work to deal with divorce matters, and you will likely have days where you are far less productive or on the ball than usual. If you let those you work closely with know, they will typically be willing to step in and cover.
These will be on both your teams, and you need to ensure it feels comfortable for them. Keep the kids out of your disagreements, and do not use them as sounding boards to complain about your spouse, who is also their parent.
While parents need to look after their kids during a divorce, children often step up in unexpected ways. For instance, your little one notices you are feeling sad and comes and gives you a big hug. Or you get home after a stressful day to find the elder child has dinner on the table and has helped their younger sibling with their homework.
Finally, divorce is a legal matter, as well as a personal one, so make sure you get experienced support to handle the legal side of things.